The currents
of the river
push back and forth.
Since we are,
all on this river,
as boats going
up and down.
She decided
it would just
be easier
to stop trying to
control the waves.
She decided
to stop fighting,
and went along
with her waves.
With May having been a busy month, I thought back to it. A reflection on how we adapt to change, and trying to be present in the moment, when it is needed the most. Reflection is our inherent ability to simmer over past events and experiences. It allows us to think of tomorrow and ahead. It’s what makes us uncertain and doubtful, or what makes us smile and laugh.
A few thoughts on ‘change’, as an active, living current of waves which shape our experiences and reflections.
Dear Patient Reader,
To make some sense of change, as a means of harnessing it, is control. Control as a dictative entity mediates through human actions and spoken words. Whether it is responsive or reactive, control is either a constructive or destructive medium. In a scientific context, or if we were to look at it in a general manner, control serves as a standard of comparison. A measure of how well we can shape our actions to changing circumstances.
Control, in the form of desire or requirement, is personal and impulsive. The human need to control change is normal. Taking into account that it can be just as difficult to adapt to negative change as it is to positive change.[1] Not to forget that emotional changes, as opposed to physical changes, can be just as taxing to adjust to.
Whether negative or positive, change is inevitable. We take it as it comes, and deal with it. Trying your best to take care of yourself in the process. I remember mentioning this once in one of my posts sometime last year, that in a society riddled with keeping a happy-faced mask on pain and sorrow are looked upon as “ugly”. If I had not mentioned this before, I think this to be true. That the expression of what are negative, “blue” emotions, are unwelcomed and disapproved of. In dealing with change, it is important to feel free to express negative emotions that are being felt.
Psychologists over the years have defined change as how you go about changing yourself.[2] When there is so much change going on around you, and little or too much control being exerted. How we can adapt our being, our self, accordingly defines our success in coming out of the change and control, hopefully, safe and sound. In several ways being able, and knowing that “I’ve got this”, is having a self-understanding of our limitations and strengths. It’s normal to feel that adjusting to change requires a lot of your energies. It does consume a lot of energy. There is an evolutionary need to maintain balance. Maintaining balance is a part of our biological structure and our surroundings. For example, homeostasis and the average temperature of the climate. Balance is integral to living systems. Balance, control, and change are stages of a cycle.
If I were to sum up, my personal experience of adapting to change was pretty rough. Starting from my first year of uni and onwards, my carved-in-stone routine cracked. Thankfully since then, it is easier to carve into. Though the need for control is present. Adapting to change has become easier. It’s better managed. I consider the past few years and the few years ahead to be my formative years of dealing with change. If you’re reading this, you may feel the same.
To deal with the emotional and physical impacts of adapting to change, with the pressures of control, communication and connections are vital. I’ll be writing about that in the next post. We often have strong feelings about change. To be able to convey and channel deep, sensitive emotions work to lift off the pressures of change. Finally, as we are me-centric individuals, consider helping someone else improve their resilience and flexibility. Through a few text messages, a heavy but warm call, or a good book referral that falls just right for the persons’ current needs.
Till the next.
P.S. Have a good week ahead.
P.P.S. The next post is titled “Communication & Connection”.
References
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201603/adapting-change
[2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-face-adversity/202107/how-adapt-change
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